How to get out of a style rut: 40+ style

When did this happen? When did I become invisible? Why, after so many years of life and living, experience and careers does self confidence leave you so quickly?

I used to have a lithe, boyish figure, which I was quite proud of, even though I didn't have much bust! It was a good clothes horse, if nothing else! My body changed after I had my son - boobs arrived and I know have a post cesarean pouch, which no amount of Pilates will shift. But the real change came with the onslaught of menopause. My bust grew overnight (or so it seemed) from a 34C to a 34FF and I started putting on weight that won't easily shift. I think one of my low points was when I walked passed a group of builders and they didn't even look up! Not that I want to be whistled at all the time, but it used to secretly please me, even if I did studiously ignore them. Now, I think I had been crossing a road at the time, they would have probably helped me!!

I knew then that I didn't want this to be my life from now on. I might not be able to easily control my body, but I could control what I put on it.

Clothes have an amazing effect on how you feel about yourself. It is not about the clothes (you can wear what you want) it is how the clothes make you feel. If they don't make you feel good, it will affect your body image and start eating away at your self-confidence. If you dress for yourself, for how you really see yourself internally, you will feel excited about what you wear. This in turn has a remarkable effect on the rest of your life, your energy and your relationships (romantic or business). If you look in the mirror and see the real, authentic you as you are and as you are becoming, this will give you tremendous empowerment.

People see us, how we see ourselves - they see the reflection of what we portray. So, if by your demeanour and your attitude you are portraying a self confident, outward going person, that is how people will see you. The opposite is of course also true. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves and their problems to really think about anyone else - I don't say that as a criticism, but as a realism. Don't worry about what other people will think of you, just follow your own desire of how you want to look and dress.

Confidence breeds confidence. If you feel happy in your clothes, happy in your skin, this will shine out of you. Your walk will more confident, you will hold you head up and put your shoulders back and people will notice you. With that notice, brings more confidence and so it goes on.

To find your true style, your own vision, sit quietly and think about your dreams and your goals. Where do you want to be with your career maybe, or your income or your body - imagine you at your absolute best with your dreams come true. How does that make you feel, who are you in this state? Who have you become to get to this point? What are you like? What is your day like? Now think of your wardrobe - what are you wearing?

Write down some key words to describe your style here. Then using these words, start a pinterest board of your vision.

You can use this to help you get dressed in the mornings and to shop for clothes. A mood board like this will help you always dress to your true style - and stop those expensive shopping mistakes!

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